dream ranch

You’re on your own, Donald J. Trump.

I read in the New York Times this morning that Macy’s is dropping your fashion line. I went to the Macy’s website and saw that the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection is already significantly discounted.

I was intrigued by the Donald J. Trump two-tone, lavender and white No Iron Solid French Cuff Shirt and the Donald J. Trump Tahitian Pearl Natte Tie, but as far as clearing this merchandise goes, I just can’t help you out.

You see, I am not a man on the way up anymore. I am officially retired as of this month. I am an unofficial watcher of clouds. I am leveling out.

As for men’s wear, I am pretty much down to Carhartt t-shirts, except for my once-a-week trips to town.

Only the neighborhood dogs howl when I walk by in my “Horseman” model Larry Mahan signature summer hat. Their owners already think I’m nuts. It’s almost accidental that my new reading glasses have Calvin Klein frames. They are stylishly blue, but they were simply the comfiest pair the Vision Store — conveniently located next door to Under Charlie’s Covers Fine Used Books on Camino del Pueblo in Bernalillo — had to offer.

As for celebrity influences, I confess I am still partial to my George Strait Cowboy Cut Original Fit Jeans from Wrangler, but even they comply with my new dress code that it’s all about comfort.

I am bit uncomfortable, meanwhile, with these recent controversies over whose songs are going to be adopted by which presidential campaign. I am not very familiar with either Jon Bon Jovi or Chris Christie, but the song stuff just doesn’t seem to be a real reliable indicator about the next commander in chief.

The Internet says George Strait is a Republican and I remember that Newt Gingrich used “Heartland” in his 2012 campaign. But the Internet also says the singer from Pearsall, Texas, tends to keep his views to himself, and I really don’t expect Trump to start making campaign appearances in George Strait Wranglers.

I notice that in a photo by Bob Beatty for the Topeka Capital-Journal, Trump is shown campaigning last Saturday in Winterset, Iowa,  in what would appear to be a Donald J. Trump Signature Collection blue suit, white shirt and yellow tie. I honestly don’t know what the signature collection might offer for an Iowa steak fry, but maybe burning meat outdoors is more of a Democratic thing anyway.

The Macy’s website says “the Donald J. Trump collection at Macy’s … exudes a unique sense of style.” Sorry, “exudes” is a verb I’ve never wanted to be part of my public persona. And, frankly, the $25 Donald J. Trump Money Tie Tac – the one in the shape of a dollar sign – just seems kind of, well, tacky. What can I say? It might go well with the Donald J. Trump Fallings Bricks Tie at $36.99 – “Extra 20% off” – but I don’t know.

I acknowledge I am partial to Larry Mahan and George Strait, and I notice upon taking a selfie that my Carhartt shirt has a label over the breast pocket, but I otherwise prefer to indulge in my own sense of style.

This Trump thing just isn’t working for me. You know?

PS: My orange Casio watch — $19.99 from Target.