Fame did not come as I wanted.
Jim Belshaw, retired Albuquerque Journal columnist, early riser and waste-no-time emailer, messaged me at 6:09 a.m. Sunday after seeing my name attached to a comment in the New York Times.
“Is this you?” he demanded, ever the no-nonsense newsman.
Would-be bean pundit John Robertson and suspected sunglasses thief Cowboy.
In my waking haze, I realized he was grilling me over a snarky comment I’d made about kidney beans. I sent it in a hot-headed moment to a Times food columnist and it was immortalized online. I didn’t know Belshaw read food items but, at any rate, this one did not escape his newspaperman’s eagle eye.
For the record, the New York Times has for years ignored my thoughts on the great American novel and world peace. What finally triggered mention was a note I wrote in 2014, praising pinto beans and putting down its mealy, tough-skinned cousin, the kidney. It started, predictably, with with a “Texas chili” recipe shared by the usually sharp newspaper.
Here is a complete transcript of my appearance in the Times:
I read to to the bottom of the Times story, looking for more of my erudite discussion of beans, but that was it. I acknowledge, however, that some of the other comments in “New York Times Recipe Commenters (Politely) Spill Their Guts” were funnier than mine.
“Who eats a chuck roast cooked with a stick of butter?” asked one reader.
Another noted that both Jeb Bush and President Obama had written to complain about that infamous green-peas-in-your–guacamole recipe.
And another questioned food writer Mark Bittman’s 40-minute preparation tip for the “Best Scrambled Eggs.”
I should have remembered the sage advice reported by Times writer Jennifer Steinhauer in 2014, quoting Texas food historian Robb Walsh: “I don’t disagree with anyone’s chili.” But I felt I was in good company in this column by Times comment moderator Lisa Tarchak.
Still, I am worried about my legacy on the internet and in the New York Times.
I fear that my top Google search terms will forever be: “John Robertson, beans.”
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Read a fine story about the late Jim Belshaw by Ollie Read here: Jim Belshaw obit by Ollie Reed in today’s Albuquerque Journal: https://www.abqjournal.com/2541425/journal-columnist-championed-underdogs-knew-how-to-make-readers-laugh.html
Previously on dreamranch: Brushes with fame and opera and Don’t mess with the beans
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